So, I just came home from the hospital for having a minor surgical procedure and have been "strongly advised" to call my Dad and his wife when these things happen, as a CONSIDERATION to them, just so they know what's going on.
I hadn't even called my own mother and I do not feel that I am obligated to tell anyone anything about my health unless it is something major or will directly affect them.
Out of consideration for ME, I feel that maybe they should just accept the fact that I didn't call them for several reasons: I was more concerned about my children and who would be caring for them while Steve and I were at the hospital; dealing with the shock of learning that I needed the procedure in the first place; overcoming the urge to freak out because I needed the procedure; taking care of my children and their needs for the evening since Steve works nights and was already at work when I got the news from my doctor that I had to go in; the procedure was NOT anything major, just medically necessary; I am NOT comfortable divulging any personal medical information to anyone unless they NEED to know, and "need" is determined by me; and, the only people that I felt needed to know were the people that were helping us out.
So, out of CONSIDERATION to ME, they should chose not to be offended.
Am I wrong?
I really would like to know your opinions
6 comments:
Hey kea.... hope your medical procedure went well and that your recovery goes well.
Its so hard to please family and to never offend them. In my family, it is impossible to never offend anyone, no matter what, my mother seems to take offense to everything, even if what ever is happening, is not about her!
i guess what I am saying is that you have every right not to tell them anything you don't want too, and you really have to hope that of everyone that you know, it's your family that will expect to respect you and your privacy the most. but on the other hand we also need to understand that there are others who depend on us, being here for them and because they 'love" us so much, they will expect certain things of us.
I've learned that when it comes to offending other, we just need to give them time to get over whatever it is, you didnt mean to offend with and hopefully they understand that, this is not about them, its about you!
BTW, i love you playlist!
I have learned to make my husband and kids - that family the first priority. And what you choose to let others know is up to you!
I believe Bobby Brown said it best "It's my prerogative." So there you have it. I think that with problems you've had in the past with confidentiality makes it a very legit argument. You do what you think is best for you and your family because those are the people you're going to be with for eternity. They are your first concern. Not anyone else :)
I hope all went well. I miss you guys.
Kristi
hmmmm. i agree with both you and your friends comments, however, i think it depends on the relationship with that parent or family member. so for me i might let my family know that i was in the hospital (probably after the fact if you dont want anyone showing up!)but wouldnt tell them any details i didnt want them to know. i know how private you are and i think you definitely have to stay within your own comfort zone when it comes to your personal information. hope everything is ok now!!! love you and your family a ton. love dana
Kealoha,
You have to do what you feel is best for your family. I truly can see both sides of the issue, because my own mother has had a variety of health problems for years - and I would always hear months later that she had had some kind of surgery and was like "Why didn't you tell me?". Family members want to be there to support you through these things, but on the other hand you don't want to worry them or maybe just don't necessarily want them involved at all.
So my tidbit is this: it depends on how strong your relationship is with your mom. If this is just a way to show your womanhood and independence, as some kind of extension of previous teenage rebellion (all fingers pointed here for being guilty of THAT one!) then maybe it is a teeny bit self-focused. But, if you truly don't want her to be worried about you then I think it's a noble deed. If your relationship isn't doing well, I can definitley see you not wanting to tell her if she is somewhat separated from your life anyway. Anyway, if you're willing to tell all of us on your blog, maybe you should let Mom know, too...
Whatever the outcome - we miss you guys and hope you have an amazing Christmas!! I can't believe how the kids have grown!
Love,
Stephanie
I wasn't referring to my mom. And I did tell my mom when things settled down. This post was about someone else that I am not very close with at all.
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